WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a stunning display of bureaucratic incompetence, the U.S. government has accidentally spent trillions of taxpayer dollars on a shipment of enormous red hats emblazoned with the slogan "Make America Great Again." The colossal error, dubbed the "MAGA Budget Disaster," has left politicians scrambling for explanations and citizens bewildered by the giant headwear now littering the nation's capital.
Sources within the government have revealed that the mishap occurred when an intern, tasked with placing an order for office supplies, misinterpreted a memo and placed an order for "an obscene number" of the iconic red caps. The intern, who had apparently never heard of the MAGA movement, believed the hats were intended to boost office morale and foster a sense of unity among government employees.
"We were expecting a shipment of printer paper and ballpoint pens," said one Capitol Hill staffer, staring in disbelief at the mountain of oversized hats outside her office window. "Instead, we've got enough red hats to cover the entire Eastern Seaboard."
The sheer volume of the hats has created logistical nightmares for city officials, as the streets of Washington, D.C., are now clogged with enormous red caps. The hats, which measure up to 20 feet in diameter, have been deemed a safety hazard, prompting the closure of several major roads and forcing the National Guard to step in to manage the chaos.
Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle are demanding answers, with some calling for an investigation into the monumental blunder. "I just want to know how this happened," said one frustrated senator. "I mean, I've heard of government waste, but this is next level."
In a rare display of bipartisan agreement, both Republicans and Democrats have come together to condemn the colossal mistake. However, some politicians have attempted to spin the situation to their advantage. "This is actually a great opportunity to show off our national unity," said one congressman, donning a gigantic red hat that dwarfed his entire body. "We may have different opinions, but we can all agree that these hats are really, really big."
Meanwhile, the intern responsible for the error has reportedly gone into hiding, fearing the wrath of hat-weary Americans. "I just wanted to make the office a happier place," the intern said in a statement released through their attorney. "I had no idea it would turn into such a big, red mess."
As the country grapples with the consequences of the MAGA Budget Disaster, experts predict it will take years to dispose of the surplus headwear and restore order to the nation's capital. In the meantime, Washington, D.C., will continue to be a sea of red, a monument to one intern's misguided attempt to boost morale.
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